2022: "So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that...."

please be easy

please solve things

give answers 

is it a lot I'm asking? 

. 

puzzeld

let's call it word of the year

too much to process 

how long will it last

until I will unpuzzle myself

numbers are also getting into my head.

different kinds 

all of them stressing me 

how do I free myself?

.

Am I changing? What it takes to big change of perspectives?

Snow ball of events, where does it stop now

sometimes I feel like I don't know what's good or what's bad anymore

who sets that

thoughts

1. Collect moments worth remembering!

While you can shout: Please the moment live forever.

is there anything more we living for?

I'm on search of good once.

Its just not easy to find hah

had a lot thought wanted to write it down but I'm so sleepy so maybe another day

I should have a few free evenings to write

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someone help me to organize my mind and thoughts  pls!

how do that?

can't always rely on my own judgments I guess..

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another note from phone:

What's my fav song?

What's my dream for now?

What I'm fascinated about theses days?

Where my mum comes form?

Why I don't like tomatoes?

What was I studying?

Why did I move to Spain?

What I'm stressed about?

What do I want from life?

Do you know any of these?

What If I know all your answers to this questions and you know mine?

What if don't?

What will it mean?

2 pic from museum of sicence

some old note from telephone:

reasonable choices that's what comes difficult
especially to me
life also treats me as caleidoscop
all kind of emotions at once




I miss a good "nights out"
Or I have changed, became to old, or just didn't meet the right ppl
all seems so boring and predictable
am I a boring person?
not putting enough effort to listen the boring one's?
There is so many ppl that I have literally no interest to exchange even 5 sentences
just bored to death
exist only few with who I truly desire to talk
rest is like just to keep it up

1975 heart out || 'PRETTY' much it

sometimes words can hurt
very deeply
but
I wanna say to life
go on! I have no idea what you hold for me, so I won't complain
whatever, I already lived trough so much
so finally the good things have to come
why anything should still have power to put me sad
I would rather say I'm waiting what tomorrow holds
but It might not come so
meantime better let's make best of today!

words can cut as deep as sword 

unexpected once
sometimes 
but faster you get over it better for you
not surprisingly the humans who are important to you, can hurt you most
do I hurt people?
they sometimes hurt me
do I also hurt them? same exact ways?

I need a friend to talk it all trough

where are you?

.

I promise to you Tomorrow, I will try to make best of it

~~~~~~~~~~~

there are things I cannot overcome

not by myself

how do I process it in my head?

You got something to say? 

Why don't you speak it out loud, 

instead of living in your head? It's always the same.

please. anything. but not pretty

do I wanna know

 this kind a comes in the waves
few things went good
5 others bad

but kinda have to put it in order in my head again 
do I actually care what people say
do I actually consider their opinion important
who are they
why should it meter
if its about me - it doesn't really
who metters 
who doesn't 
what metters 
what doesn't 
what I care about 
and what I don't 
what's that I truly want
what's I don't care at all
am I honest with myself 
am I lying to myself
am I brave 
or am I hiding 
am I facing things
or am I avoiding it? 

do I live today, or I try to live in the future or past? 
what are the things that acctualy depends on me
what are the things I can't influence or change
if I choose to worry about those 
do I choose to be happy or sad
do I choose to live or just pass days by