I don't even want to be that perfect
nothing is that perfect and closing eyes and repeating that is otherwise won't change anything
you are not that f**** perfect yourself
why do you expect others to be
why does it makes you uncomfortable facing imperfection
what you wanna just close your eyes and ears and pretend that if you won't be looking at it, it won't exist
just look in the eyes
say it in the face
confront it
I'm a human being
not an exhibit in the museum
to be looked at and discussed
reviewed and judged
"she might need more time"
"she is making progress slowly"
"she stands out a little"
"some people might need more time the the others..."
am I needing more time to be as everyone else?
to be as even more hypocritical than I am at the moment?
why we always need to try to change others? Why don't we accept them and try instead to work on ourselves if we believe we need to do so?
what if biggest motivation to changes it your example, not your theoretical- judgy tone of voice?
I've said it once already. I hate that fake dictated, almost forced kindness. I value more unkindness when honest then pretended kindness.
There is nothing worst then fake kindness.
When someone is just so kind until the limits just to show how wonderful person he is, so others can praise him.
nothing annoys me more then fake pretended kindness
is the something to do to don't take part in this spectacle
to just stop being part of it
the show must go on
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The show must go on
The show must go on, yeah
Inside my heart is breaking
My makeup may be flaking
But my smile, still, stays on
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
from positives
it started to go a bit smoother
I'm enjoying the way of achieving my gaols
it might take some time
but this time I'm committed to enjoy the way
as much as possible
because finally the life in not much more then the way
I am happy
honestly and truly happy
in tiny room, in the middle of one of maddest cities in the world
working a lot, not having much time off
but with happy state of mind
I just try to take bit of enjoyment for each day
from simple things
a morning sport
a good coffee
a nice conversations with people
music ( I didn't listen to music for so long, I'm trying too enjoy it again)
I enjoy the days when I'm not having a headache
a fresh air
a smell of the rain
wearing jackets
sleeping deep with no nightmare - finally (at least not that often)
felling more free
not knowing anyone gives that space of allowing you to be who you wanna be more often instead of what expected of you
just not planning much
just living the days day by day with no deeper expectation
I try to expect as less as possible form anything
to be more often positively surprised
I'm enjoying watching the nature and the views
I'm so grateful that I could travel a bit
that I'm improving my language day by day
I didn't feel like that for many years
I hope it last at least a bit
hopefully just a bit longer
:))))))))))
