that funny feeling / I will be "post-y" I guess

thats so bittersweet

but I'm trying to approach it with thinking 

RELAX 

first of all life often dealing with situations better the we imagined and than we thought all could go

maybe better is not to force your own solutions sometimes

2ed me over-stressing always was ruining all

I always was over thinking things and I was ending up not enjoying bc I was simply stressed 

Life goes anyway own way why would you always in advance process all possible outputs

Its not easy but for once I try to get it right as it can be without overwhelming myself

I'm just curious what I'm gonna think reading it in two years. What I'm gonna think What I'm gonna feel 

before the spring comes

I came to conclusion

one of the most realising powerful feelings 
is being able to share

being heard

and

being understood

.

80%

I feel nice afternoons with summer air are coming

sooooooon

_______________________________

straight and clear
I like to have it like that

unknown is stressing me

how to loose the need of knowing

just be ready for what comes whatever it will be

anyone knows?

what do I really want?

what do you really want?

anyone knows what they want?

why is it so hard to figure out?

I had a such nice weekend

I had  generally such nice days recently

Really good once

Few in a row last months

Why do I feel down then? Is its spring coming?

Is it ever enough? Can't I be happy from what I am getting?

I'm kinda surprised how well life treated me recently

How nice inspiring people I've got around 

Yet I feel like something is missing/not 100

What's wrong with me tbh?

Maybe its the shitty food I sometimes eat

Maybe, bc I stoped to go to the gym recently

I'm kinda anxious about things

I need peace of mind

There are few unknown/ unfigured out things and it drags me lower

But tbh, almost no one  ever have it clear in life

I was treated recently with:

*apple x2 

*35mm

*proper dose of fun

*package from my mum

*few peaceful chilling days

*nice people around 

what am I looking forward:

*this course

*that days

*wholefoods bowls

*35mm photos of humans

*understanding more

*chilling more :D

*easy editing

*finding ways of being more confident

*appointing for course in the autumn

*meeting new people

*discovering more ways of being happy

*being honest with myself

*deciding what do I want

"We could be weightless

Like birds in the night 

Wherever we go 

Set thе world on fire 

We'll be in thе darkness 

Breaking across the sky"

ps

things I was worried a year ago doesn't meter anymore

so probably what I worry now in year time won't meter tooo

shouldn't it be relasing

where do we go

Maybe it's being self pity, but the best times to be writing 

are there when  feel a bit weak

self-pitiness is the easiest thing to do I guess 

am I self-pity?

I need you, and I think that's my biggest weakness

I hate needing something, and not being able to be self sufficient

I hate finding myself in situation being depend on something or someone

Thinks are less way disappointing when they is included only "me"

I guess only I know what I'm talking about but that's actually the goal

She told me am not able to set boundaries if it about people I care. That I should start to ask for the things in exchange. That's what it's all about. I mean how. How it can be as simple as exchange. No exchange, no interaction.  I don't even know what should I be  asking for.

What should I be asking for?

What do I need in this exchanges?

I liked to thing I need nothing.

(I won't be commenting about the WAR, because its just to terrifying where it can lead us.  But we defo shouldn't be silent. They should  be loud. Silence is consent)

 

Help, I lost myself again, but I remember you