🤮

I just had a mental fight, the part of the post that's below the line

but i decided now I'm not giving up to it

, maybe I just need more sleep and self-care and my happy part will take over, I was always happy, wasn't I?

one day is not a reason to judge the whole world for all times isn't it?

I so easy to fall into victim mode when things go a bit off

but maybe sometimes it's just time to step back 

--------------------------------

when the walking for hours is the only solution to calm you down

when the empty city night roads are your best company

the thinking that never stops

there is no way to live that way

exhausted by my own head

I just desperately wanna get out

it was okay for some time, a long time, I was doing so well

I thought that I managed it

so i had that idea, I can start living normally again

for some reason, human interactions makes it so much worse

and it's a thing I want the most

then it's just so overwhelming 

the thought of being invested and then it not being returned is the scariest thing ever for some reason 

but i cannot avoid living 

the thought of making wrong decisions 

the thought of being a burden 

that overthinking, but trying to behave normally bc then everyone would just avoid you. everyone needs a lift up, not a pull down

the thought of being the one who drugs down

the thought of being that person who just complains 

how do I get out

lift me up

hold me down 

keep me close

safe and sound

why the end of the year is always the worst part ever